Polyvagal Theory: The Science of Feeling Safe & Connected
June 3, 2025
Written by: Lindsay Mieden, MA, LPC-S
Okay, let’s talk about your nervous system—because, honestly, it’s working so hard behind the scenes to keep you safe, connected, and functioning. Ever wonder why some days you feel super social and energized, while other days you just want to hide under a blanket and avoid all human interaction? That’s Polyvagal Theory in action.
What Is Polyvagal Theory?
Developed by Dr. Stephen Porges in 1994, Polyvagal Theory explains how our autonomic nervous system (the part of our body that controls automatic functions like breathing and heart rate) influences our emotions, social interactions, and responses to stress [1].
At the heart of this theory is the vagus nerve, the longest cranial nerve in the body, which plays a crucial role in regulating our emotional and physiological states. Polyvagal Theory suggests that our nervous system isn’t just about fight-or-flight—it has multiple layers of response designed to help us connect, protect, and survive [2].
Your Nervous System Has Three Modes (And Yes, You’ve Experienced Them All)
Ventral Vagal (Safe & Social Mode) – This is your “I feel amazing!” setting. You’re relaxed, present, and ready to engage with the world. This is the mode when you’re laughing with friends, petting a dog, or basking in the glory of a really good cup of coffee.
Sympathetic (Fight or Flight Mode) – Your brain detects a threat, so your body gears up for battle or escape. Heart races. Muscles tense. Sweat glands? Activated. It’s great if you’re being chased by a bear—but less ideal when it’s just an overdue email stressing you out.
Dorsal Vagal (Shutdown Mode) – When stress feels too much, your body hits the “Nope, I’m out” button. You might feel numb, exhausted, or totally disconnected. It’s your nervous system’s way of protecting you, but getting stuck here isn’t fun.
Why This Theory Actually Matters
Polyvagal Theory helps us understand why our emotions can shift so dramatically—why one minute we feel totally fine, and the next, we’re spiraling into stress or withdrawal. It’s all about safety—when we feel secure, we thrive; when we feel unsafe, our nervous system goes into defense mode [3].
How to Bring Yourself Back to Safe Mode (AKA Ventral Vagal Superpower)
Feeling stuck in stress or shutdown mode? Try these science-backed hacks to reset your nervous system:
✔️ Deep Breathing – Slow inhales, even slower exhales—this directly activates the vagus nerve. ✔️ Social Connection – Call a friend, hug someone, make awkward eye contact with your pet. ✔️ Movement – Walk, stretch, dance like nobody’s watching (or like everyone’s watching, honestly—who cares?). ✔️ Mindfulness & Grounding – Notice five things around you. Feel your feet on the ground. Return to the moment. ✔️Humming or Singing – Weird but true—vocalizing stimulates the vagus nerve and helps shift you out of stress mode.
Polyvagal Theory & Trauma Recovery
Polyvagal Theory has been widely used in trauma therapy, helping individuals understand their nervous system responses and regain a sense of safety. Therapists use techniques like co-regulation (connecting with others to feel safe), somatic therapy (body-based healing), and mindfulness practices to help clients shift out of survival mode and into a state of calm and connection [3].
Final Thoughts: Your Nervous System Is Trying Its Best
Polyvagal Theory isn’t just a fancy neuroscience concept—it’s a real-world guide to understanding why we react the way we do. The more we recognize our nervous system’s patterns, the better we can navigate stress, regulate emotions, and find our way back to feeling safe and connected.
Ever noticed how your body reacts to stress? What helps you feel more grounded? Let’s chat! 🚀
[1] www.polyvagalinstitute.org [2] en.wikipedia.org [3] positivepsychology.com
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